ODAT February 21, 2017 ~ Progress ~

One Day At A Time

~ PROGRESS ~

” … I was taught that the way of progress is neither swift nor easy.”
Marie Curie

I have always been the queen of quick fix, so if I wanted something to happen, it had to happen today if not yesterday. So coming into the program was very hard for me, in that for the first time I have had to realise that recovery is not an overnight thing. For a perfectionist like me, that has been a very hard lesson to learn, in that I don’t have to have perfect recovery. My journey in this program has been an up and down one, with many slips along the way, and everytime I have slipped, I have had to remember that I may think I’m a failure, but I’m only a failure if I fail to pick myself up. In the past if I made a mistake, I was a total and utter failure, but I know now that all I have to do each time is to pick myself up, dust myself off and start over.

The other thing I’ve learned in the program is that I also always need to remember where I came from, and when I look back, I can see the progress I have made. My self esteem is growing, and even though I still seem to slip back into the old character defects from time to time, they are nowhere near as bad as in the past. I am able to forgive people whom I thought I would never be able to forgive, and I make amends whenever the need arises, and as a result my relationships with people have improved dramatically.

One Day at a Time . . .
May I remember that in this program, it is always progress and not perfection that counts.
~ Sharon ~

Alleged Insight:

 

You know how you win a marathon?  It’s not about finishing ahead of somebody else on the course?  It’s not even about beating a previous score/time you may have held in the past.  You win, by making it to the end, without quitting.

Progress.  Not. Perfection.

You strive always for progress, one foot in front of the other, not faster than the other guys, not better than you were last year, but better than you were yesterday.Progress is not lineal.  The idea of perfection is and always will be a straight shot to the end.  Progress is like crossing Canada by road.

You go over, then up, and around and off that way and a little bit south to avoid the other bits, then wiggling through that rocky marshy piece, and swing wide low through the middle end, finally to push up to the easternmost points but you have to jump ship to finally get there.  Progress is like that.  Pick the end, pick the direction, but focus on the next step, one day at a time, one step at a time, you will move forward, it might not be straight forward, but it will be progress.

So, to win, you get up and you start, continuing forward, let of of the negative, learn from it if you can, and cherish the positives, keep those memories close, but keep going, always one more step, always progress.

Cheers and DFTBA

Duke of Chaos

Footnote:
Standard Disclaimer: the text-reminder-and quote- herein comes from the book or website as noted at this link HERE. If you want to verify, look up your local AA or Al-Anon group.
But seriously, the work works if you work it. I’m doing this for me, for my wife, for our family and for our future.
By posting this material each day, I hope to hold the ideals in my awareness, and start with the small steps that make a big journey. ODAT is the slogan, and with God as my wing-man there’s a fair chance of surviving this adventure, for a while anyhow.
I am merely a tool in God’s toolbox.

ODAT February 20, 2017 ~ Secrets ~

One Day At A Time

Secrets

There were deep secrets hidden in my heart,
never said for fear others would scoff or sneer.
At last I can reveal my sufferings,
for the strength I once felt in silence has lost all its power.
Deidra Sarault

I’ve heard it said in program that we are only a sick as the secrets we keep. If that is the case, then I was very sick  when desperation forced me through the doors of this wonderful fellowship.
Not one of my friends or family knew what I was doing around food, as most of it was done in secret, and I was always careful to remove all the evidence. I couldn’t believe that anyone would love me if they knew what I was doing around  food, and felt that I was either really bad or totally crazy, or both. But for the first time ever, I was able to come clean about what I was doing around food, and I wasn’t judged or frowned upon. The love and acceptance I have received  here has been totally overwhelming, but in addition I found out that others had done the same or similar things to what  I had done, and so for the first time ever, I felt that I wasn’t alone. Not only have I been able to talk freely about my food  and what I had been doing, as well as what it was doing to me, but in the fourth and fifth step, I was finally able to  share with another person my darkest deepest secrets, that for years I’d thought  had made me this terrible person. It  was in fact in sharing all the things that I’d thought of as so bad, that I came to realise that it was only my magnifying  mind that had made them appear so, and that in fact they really weren’t bad at all. I would never have found that out,
had I not been in this program, and I’m so grateful for the relief that sharing all these things has given me.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will learn to get honest and share with my sponsor and others in this program, all the things that are bothering me, whether it be food or other issues, so I can be relieved of the pain that all my secrets are causing me.
~ Sharon

Alleged Insight:

 

Well, nothing like working on a deadline.  Today’s boundaries are shot, the end is about ten minutes hence, and I’m only half way to my goals for the day.

Yesterday’s reading was about self-knowledge, you can find it here, and today’s is about secrets.  The two are less separate than you may think.

See, the best way to keep a secret is to keep it even from yourself.  Don’t admit consciously to knowing a thing, and it won’t be a thing.  If it’s about you and your issues/addictions, whatever, then you will keep that secret.

The trick to breaking the pattern lies in self-knowledge.  True admitting and knowledge of self won’t let you keep those secrets anymore, and it’s time to start working towards the end goal.  Anyhow, I’m out of time and I really have work to get done.  Until tomorrow awesome people.  DFTBA.

Duke of Chaos

Footnote:
Standard Disclaimer: the text-reminder-and quote- herein comes from the book or website as noted at this link HERE. If you want to verify, look up your local AA or Al-Anon group.
But seriously, the work works if you work it. I’m doing this for me, for my wife, for our family and for our future.
By posting this material each day, I hope to hold the ideals in my awareness, and start with the small steps that make a big journey. ODAT is the slogan, and with God as my wing-man there’s a fair chance of surviving this adventure, for a while anyhow.
I am merely a tool in God’s toolbox.

ODAT February 19, 2017 ~ Self-Knowledge ~

One Day At A Time

~ SELF KNOWLEDGE ~

We’re our own dragons as well as our own heroes
and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves.
Tom Robbins

I always tried to do my best in everything I did. Studies, school, and managing my own family are some good
examples. Being in control made it seem as though I always did as I was told, but I had a very difficult time Being on
my own and thinking for myself. The talent I was born with gave me a good start at being an artist, but I couldn’t seem
to make a successful career out of it. I was scared and shy and didn’t dare be on the forefront of making this talent
into what I wanted it to be.

When I started on my path to Recovery, I found that I was being too much of a perfectionist. I was always told to do
things perfectly and I tried and tried but never seemed to satisfy my parents or the god of my childhood. So when I
grew up I was so hard on myself that I lost the creativity I was born with. Creativity can’t thrive in a hostile environment.

One day while reading an author I liked, I read that I had to “get out of my own way”. I was a dragon trying to do
something creative and it didn’t work. I have to learn to “rescue myself from myself” so I can do my art with the talents
that are God-given.

One day at a time … I realize that if I want to see myself as I really am,I cannot stand in my own shadow.
~ Myrlene ~

Alleged Insight:

Nothing deep tonight I’m afraid, this is yesterday’s reading, but yesterday was rather mangled to start with, and now we’re closing in on the end of today, so here’s this one and I’ll ruminate on the next one.

 

Cheers and DFTBA.

Duke of Chaos

Footnote:
Standard Disclaimer: the text-reminder-and quote- herein comes from the book or website as noted at this link HERE. If you want to verify, look up your local AA or Al-Anon group.
But seriously, the work works if you work it. I’m doing this for me, for my wife, for our family and for our future.
By posting this material each day, I hope to hold the ideals in my awareness, and start with the small steps that make a big journey. ODAT is the slogan, and with God as my wing-man there’s a fair chance of surviving this adventure, for a while anyhow.
I am merely a tool in God’s toolbox.

ODAT February 18, 2017 ~ Serenity ~

One Day At A Time

SERENITY

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
The Serenity Prayer

My life before abstinence was a fight in the dark to stabilize my world and protect myself from more pain. Too much suffering was endured by this child. She never understood that she could ever come back into the Light. But, the fog is lifting now … there are days of clarity and joy. How could she have known? She was too little.

Circumstances change … memories fade away … I can be safe again … I can allow myself to be me. I will work my program to secure the Light again in my world.

One day at a time . . .
I pray to understand that the stream of life keeps moving … I will live in darkness no longer.
Margaret ~

Alleged Insight:

 

“God, grant me the Serenity.  I’ll handle the rest.  Shiny.”

If you get that quote, then cool, if not then well, we can work on it.

But truthfully, the serenity prayer is the foundation and for many, the introduction to the deeper mindset of the Al-Anon journey.  As such it’s well covered, and I’m not sure I can add more insight to it, it’s a good prayer, and appropriate almost all the time. But it’s late, I’m a day behind and I’ve a crazy amount of work to get done before the sun comes up.

Cheers and DFTBA.

Duke of Chaos

Footnote:
Standard Disclaimer: the text-reminder-and quote- herein comes from the book or website as noted at this link HERE. If you want to verify, look up your local AA or Al-Anon group.
But seriously, the work works if you work it. I’m doing this for me, for my wife, for our family and for our future.
By posting this material each day, I hope to hold the ideals in my awareness, and start with the small steps that make a big journey. ODAT is the slogan, and with God as my wing-man there’s a fair chance of surviving this adventure, for a while anyhow.
I am merely a tool in God’s toolbox.

ODAT February 14, 2017 ~ Love People, not Possibilities ~

One More Day

We don’t love qualities, we love persons..

.–Jacques Maritain

No matter what happens to us in our lifetime, regardless of whether we are rich or poor,m strong or weak, ill or well, we always have room for love. Unqualified love and caring cost nothing. Despite our financial position, allowing ourselves to love, allowing ourselves to be loved strengthens and lends greater value to our lives.

In loving others and in being loved, we’re reminded that people, not events or even characteristics, are the important elements of our lives. We don’t look for perfection in our loved ones, and we’re freed of the notion that we must earn another’s love. Love balances our lives; it helps us keep sight of our values and priorities.

I will remember today that I love people for themselves, not for their potential. The love I receive is given just as freely.

Alleged Insight:

Had to change up the reading book today.  The ODAT reading was just odd, it was about the Wizard of Oz.  This one is better.  But beyond that it’s Valentine’s Day, and it’s really late, so I’m off to bed.

Cheers and DFTBA.

Duke of Chaos

Footnote:
Standard Disclaimer: the text-reminder-and quote- herein comes from the book or website as noted at this link HERE. If you want to verify, look up your local AA or Al-Anon group.
But seriously, the work works if you work it. I’m doing this for me, for my wife, for our family and for our future.
By posting this material each day, I hope to hold the ideals in my awareness, and start with the small steps that make a big journey. ODAT is the slogan, and with God as my wing-man there’s a fair chance of surviving this adventure, for a while anyhow.
I am merely a tool in God’s toolbox.

ODAT February 8, 2017 ~ Freedom and Discpline ~

One Day At A Time

DISCIPLINE AND FREEDOM

” Freedom to a dancer means discipline.
That is what technique is for … liberation.”
Martha Graham

I was thinking this morning that keeping in fit spiritual condition was like being a dancer. A dancer knows that without the discipline of frequent training and rehearsal, he or she will not be able to dance freely when called upon to do so. The dancer who is not in shape will look wrong, feel wrong and become injured trying to do something wild and free. The training may be dull, boring and repetitive at times, but when the performance is on, the dancer soars in the freedom of movement.

I try to look at my daily program tasks the way a dancer looks at training. I may not like every minute, but I have the continual blessing of freedom as I go about my day and the hope of great moments of breakthrough into new freedoms as I progress.

One day at a time …
I will take each step of my recovery program with my great vision of freedom.
~ Q.

Alleged Insight:

One Day At A Time.  Every.  Single. Day.  Discipline is needed in life, ninety percent of the battle is just showing up, but to show up at all requires discipline.  So what’s so hard about doing that?  Life.

Life is not conducive to discipline, at least lives worth living are not.  If you have a job, get up five or six days a week, go through the motions and get the work done, than that’s great, but why are you doing it?

Like these blog posts, it’s a daily practice, that all too often gets derailed by LIFE. Take my youngest for example..  really take him for a minute will you, it’s been two days since I was able to put him down, he got sick, and when he’s sick, Daddy is who he wants, period. No excuses, no substitutions, nothing, he wants to be held by daddy.  That interferes big time with things like work, like blogging, like housecleaning, like laundry, everything.

Life is messy, chaotic, and totally unscripted.  But there was a quote somewhere that says “the Warrior will persist, true in his own intentions despite the tempest that assails him.”  It’s not exactly what the quote was, and I can’t find it right now, but the idea I can take away from it is that The discipline of self, when applied consistently, despite what life may throw at you, is the goal of a life lived with intent.  Stuff keeps getting better if you keep making yourself better.

We can’t really affect anything in this world besides ourselves, so if we focus on that, then we are free to experience the rest, and life our life to the fullest.

Cheers and DFTBA.

Duke of Chaos

Footnote:
Standard Disclaimer: the text-reminder-and quote- herein comes from the book or website as noted at this link HERE. If you want to verify, look up your local AA or Al-Anon group.
But seriously, the work works if you work it. I’m doing this for me, for my wife, for our family and for our future.
By posting this material each day, I hope to hold the ideals in my awareness, and start with the small steps that make a big journey. ODAT is the slogan, and with God as my wing-man there’s a fair chance of surviving this adventure, for a while anyhow.
I am merely a tool in God’s toolbox.

ODAT February 7, 2017 ~ Fellowship ~

One Day At A Time

~ FELLOWSHIP ~

We may have all come on different ships,
but we’re in the same boat now.
Martin Luther King Jr.

As a child I never had many friends and I was never one of the “in” crowd. I had many complexes and never thought I was good enough, or clever enough or thin enough. I didn’t date much, nor did I often go to parties. Instead I lived in my perfect fantasy world, where I would one day be thin and beautiful and live happily ever after. As a result food became my best friend, and where friends would constantly disappoint me or leave me, food was always there to numb the pain of loneliness, rejection and loss. There was never anyone in whom I could confide the unbearable pain that I felt, and so I would bury myself in books and food, and thought that as long as I had enough food to soothe that great big hole in my soul, everything would be fine.

Finally, however, when the food was causing me more pain than the pain it was supposed to take away, in desperation I found the doors of this wonderful fellowship. The people in that first meeting were from all walks of life, and of all ages, with some being old enough to be my parents or young enough to be my children. Even though they initially appeared so different to me, I realized that in this motley group of people I had found the friends that I had always been looking for. The common bond we shared in our desire to stop eating compulsively and to heal our lives was the cement that keeps this wonderful fellowship going. These friends listened to me without judging me, they loved me even when I couldn’t love myself, and they were there for me when I needed them. They have become my best friends and my family. It’s a result of this fellowship with other compulsive overeaters, who share with me their experience, strength and hope, that I am constantly able to learn and grow.

One day at a time… One Day at a Time . . .
I will reach out in fellowship to my friends in the program, as they reach out to me, and in doing so I am empowered in ways that are truly miraculous.
~ Sharon S. ~

Alleged Insight:

Wanna play ball?  My eight year old asks that of his brothers all the time, ‘Want to go outside and play with me?’

He’s highlighting something that’s lost in today’s ultra connected world, life is about connection, about fellowship, about community, and while social media has helped in some part with this building of community, it’s also been detrimental as hell to the family unit and the local ‘in real life’ connections we all need to be healthy.

I could wax philosophical about how this very blogging thing is part of the problem, but truthfully I’m not that deep.  The message was community.  Fellowship.  Finding like minded individuals who can travel your path with you.

Religion helps some of us, I’ve found much support for many of the issues I face within the men of my church.  Support groups like Al-Anon also help, if you can find the right people, like my wife has.

The bottom line, the underlying current here is that you have to find people who can support you while you support them…  wherever you might find them.  Until I started to look to others to help me with my internal mess, nothing changed, I felt alone, and at teh bottom of the emotional swing, I felt suicidal.

That’s not a place I wanted to get back to.  So I started working to change things, and found good men who were willing to open up and both help and receive help in return.

Life is worth living, but sometimes we need other’s to remind us of that fact, as well as showing us how to find that spark of worth to cling to.  Keep on Keeping on, one day at a time.

Or as Dory would say, ‘just keep swimming…’

Cheers and DFTBA.

Duke of Chaos

Footnote:
Standard Disclaimer: the text-reminder-and quote- herein comes from the book or website as noted at this link HERE. If you want to verify, look up your local AA or Al-Anon group.
But seriously, the work works if you work it. I’m doing this for me, for my wife, for our family and for our future.
By posting this material each day, I hope to hold the ideals in my awareness, and start with the small steps that make a big journey. ODAT is the slogan, and with God as my wing-man there’s a fair chance of surviving this adventure, for a while anyhow.
I am merely a tool in God’s toolbox.

ODAT February 4, 2017 ~ Laughter ~

One Day At A Time

~ Laughter ~

Laughter can be more satisfying than honor;
more precious than money;
more heart-cleansing than prayer.
Harriet Rochlin

For as long as I can remember I’ve always been a serious person. I can’t remember ever doing something just for fun or to have a laugh. There always had to be a purpose for what I did in my life, or else it was of no value. As for being able to laugh at myself, that wasn’t even in my frame of reference. I was so super-sensitive that I’d get upset if someone made fun of me, as it would always make me feel “less than” or stupid.

So when I came into the doors of my first Twelve Step meeting, I was amazed that, even though all the people I met had problems around food, they were still able to look at their mistakes and realize that that didn’t make them a bad person. But even more heartwarming was the fact that I heard laughter in those rooms. Before, I’d always thought that when someone laughed at what I said, they were laughing at me, and that would reinforce my feelings of inadequacy.

The lessons I’m learning here are not easy ones and there are still times when my old behaviors of being overly sensitive creep in, but I know that recovery is a process, and as I grow in the program, it will get better.

One day at a time …
As I practice the program and work the steps, I am becoming more able to laugh at myself and not always look at the dark side of life. What a gift it has been to start enjoying life!
~ Sharon ~

Alleged Insight:

 

“The Irish laugh at themselves because everybody else is afraid to start laughing at them.” That’s what my grand-daddy said when I was little, asking him why he was so jovial and laughing all the time while we worked that hard in the bush and the field.

I didn’t get it at the time, and it morphed into “if you can’t laugh at yourself, then who can you laugh at?”  Equally as muddled.

But!  Life goes on, experiences are gained, and none of the above trite comments are actually accurate.

Life is Joy.

Life is not a path to be trudged, to be survived, but to be experienced with an air of wonderment and exhilaration, it’s all that and more.

Sure, pain exists, tragedy exists, but so to does love, wonderment and joy.  Which would you rather focus on?

If I get up feeling rough, feeling every ache and I focus on that for the day, then I am going to have a bad, really bad day.

If the same day sees me roll outta bed feeling like a truck hit me, I down a big thing of water to flush out the overnight crap and get some anti-inflammatory into my system, then start being the good dad I know I can be if I try, then it’s a whole different day.  So, to growl, to laugh, or to look for the joy?

I think I’m going to go shopping for vegetables, then go home, and cut the snow that’s creeping off the roof into squares and go build a fort with the boys.  I’ll see if I can put a picture of it up when I’m done.   Keep being awesome.

 

 

Cheers and DFTBA.

Duke of Chaos

Footnote:
Standard Disclaimer: the text-reminder-and quote- herein comes from the book or website as noted at this link HERE. If you want to verify, look up your local AA or Al-Anon group.
But seriously, the work works if you work it. I’m doing this for me, for my wife, for our family and for our future.
By posting this material each day, I hope to hold the ideals in my awareness, and start with the small steps that make a big journey. ODAT is the slogan, and with God as my wing-man there’s a fair chance of surviving this adventure, for a while anyhow.
I am merely a tool in God’s toolbox.

ODAT February 3, 2017 ~ Being Joyful ~

One Day At A Time

~ Being Joyful ~

As I stumble through this life, help me to create more laughter than tears.
Never let me become so indifferent that I will fail to see the wonder in the eyes of a child.
Never let me forget that my total effort is to cheer people, make them forget,
at least momentarily, the unpleasantness in their lives.
And in my final moment, may I hear You whisper:
“When you made My people smile, you made Me smile.”
A Clown’s Prayer (Author Unknown)

I have made so many people angry with me, so many people cry, so many people worry and despair of me. So many people have been resentful of me. My disease dictated how I lived my life, if you could call it living.

Then I came to this program and I found a new way to live, and I found joy such as I have never found before, anywhere. The program taught me not to take life so seriously. The Big Book of AA tells me on page 132, “But we are not a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn’t want it. We absolutely insist on enjoying life.” I need to remember that. I need to work my steps, stay in conscious contact with my Higher Power, but boy oh boy, do I ever need to remember that I need to learn that I am not a bad person getting good, just a sick person getting well. Even sick people have fun. I’m a sick person recovering on a daily basis from a terminal disease that was killing me, but recovery snatched me from the brink of death. Now I can’t help but see the beauty of this crazy, wonderful world we live in.

One day at a time …
I am warmed and my heart sings at the thought that today I have made someone smile. Please, dear God, let me continue to do so.
~ Marlene ~

 

Alleged Insight:

 

If I could choose to do no harm, to increase the joy and decrease worldsuck (as the Vlogbrother’s policy is) then that is my choice.  Why oh why then, do I find myself, despite my best intentions, doing exactly the opposite?

Like the one in the readings above, life was a contest, a combat, an arena in which to complete and suffer.  It had always been so, since before I could remember.  I thought I had grown past and out of that state of mind, I truly believed I had dealt with these issues.

This last week has seen me walking some dark paths, stress, pressure and deadlines, not to mention the penalties, real or implied or imagined that all weighed on me, bowing me under the pressure.  Tempers short, social niceties get forgotten, and generally if I’m not paying attention to my own behavior, I become something of an asshat (again to use the Vlogbrother’s jargon).

What does this have to do with being joyful in the moment, spreading positive energy?

There is only one type of human that can spread joy and cheer without truly understanding it’s polar opposite.  A child (or those with a child’s mind).   A child knows naught of hate, of prejudice, of intentional causing suffering to another.

Most of us, if you’re reading this and come from anything even remotely like my background you qualify as of of the most, learned of the dark side of humanity before ever knowing that it didn’t always have to be that way.  That it could be changed, that good was out there and we could choose it as easily as we choose our favorite ice-cream or outfit.

So, an actionable plan, since I’ve failed so miserably in the last few weeks at being a good human (trust me on this, I’m not open to arguments on this topic).  I ran across a practice a while back, so far back in my recovery path that I can’t now find the reference points or even who it came from, but the premise was simply that daily awareness and tracking could help one form and change habits and behaviors, even underlying base patters so much so that a better life could be had just for the wanting of it if you put in the time and the work.

My proposition, three steps.

1-start the day with a list of intentions (my to do list and goals)

2-mid-day check-in on this list and an honest assessment of what’s going on, status update if you will.

3-End of day review, honest assessment of my effectiveness, and a preliminary statement of intent for the following day.

Now, I’ll work up a quick template so I’m not rewriting the same stuff over and over again, leaving me to just fill in the blanks.  I guess I’ll leave this here and tomorrow’s update will let you know how I’m doing with it.

Cheers and DFTBA.

Duke of Chaos

Footnote:
Standard Disclaimer: the text-reminder-and quote- herein comes from the book or website as noted at this link HERE. If you want to verify, look up your local AA or Al-Anon group.
But seriously, the work works if you work it. I’m doing this for me, for my wife, for our family and for our future.
By posting this material each day, I hope to hold the ideals in my awareness, and start with the small steps that make a big journey. ODAT is the slogan, and with God as my wing-man there’s a fair chance of surviving this adventure, for a while anyhow.
I am merely a tool in God’s toolbox.

ODAT January 12, 2017 ~ Guilt ~

One Day At A Time

~ GUILT ~

Who I am is what I have to give.
Quite simply, I must remember that’s enough.
Anne Wilson Schaef

For most of my growing up years, I was fed on guilt, or so it seemed. I always felt that in order to justify being worthy of what others did for me, I had to be the best at whatever I did. I would feel guilty for not meeting others’ expectations. My self-esteem was virtually non-existent. I was always there for other people rather than being there for myself. It was no wonder I turned to food to help me cope.

Now, I’m grateful that it took the pain of all those years of compulsive overeating to bring me into this wonderful fellowship of people who accept me just as I am. I don’t need to do anything to justify myself. Through working the steps, I have been able to let go of a lot of guilt and I see that, even with all my character defects, I’m still a very special and unique human being. My self-esteem has improved, and I learned that I need to take care of myself if I’m to be of help to others.

I still struggle with those defects from time to time, but with the support I find in this fellowship, I am becoming comfortable with who I am, and I can let go of the guilt. What a relief that has been!

I don’t need to be just the person who is always there for others; I need to be there for myself. I am learning that I am a worthwhile person and that I’m just the way God wants me to be.

One Day at a Time . . .
I don’t need to be just the person who is always there for others;
I need to be there for myself.
I am learning that I am a worthwhile person and that I’m just the way God wants me to be.
~ Sharon ~

Alleged Insight:

Guilt.

Guilt?

Guilt is a reaction to a thing that has passed, something I’ve done, or some wrong I’ve committed, real or imagined.

There are so many good points to expand on from this reading, but I don’t know that I’m the man to deal with some of them, so I’ll just pluck the threads that come to the surface first shall I?

First, I notice that many of these references (typed and quoted items), are referencing food as a source of comfort, indicating some form of overindulgence to compensate or adjusting for some part of life.  I can relate, but not to the extent that it becomes the surrogate for alcohol that is has for so many of us Adult Children of Alcoholics.

Second, guilt is a good road sign, indicating that something was amiss in our behavior, and that we (or to be more direct, I) should have acted differently. Now, that in itself is a simply insight, but the deeper aspect is also deceptively simple.  I love the quote in the graphic above, there’s more truth in it than many might suspect.

Holding onto the feelings of guilt will only poison our soul much like alcohol or drugs will poison our bodies.  The ability to know one’s self, to take the cues and leads and learn from them is critical in growth and recovery.

Guilt is real, and it is useful, but only as a tool, to learn and grow from.  Pain without recovery is just something to be endured.  Guilt without learning and growth and recovery is just poison to the soul.

We are only human, we make mistakes, I make more than most I know, but to reset, restart and begin fresh daily is one of the gifts we have been given.  I will learn from my mistakes, and I will thank God that tomorrow is a new day.

Cheers and DFTBA.

Duke of Chaos

Footnote:
Standard Disclaimer: the text-reminder-and quote- herein comes from the book or website as noted at this link HERE. If you want to verify, look up your local AA or Al-Anon group.
But seriously, the work works if you work it. I’m doing this for me, for my wife, for our family and for our future.
By posting this material each day, I hope to hold the ideals in my awareness, and start with the small steps that make a big journey. ODAT is the slogan, and with God as my wing-man there’s a fair chance of surviving this adventure, for a while anyhow.
I am merely a tool in God’s toolbox.