ODAT February 9, 2017 ~ Blessings ~

One Day At A Time

~ BLESSINGS ~

There are no mistakes, no coincidences.
All events are blessings given to us to learn from.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

I certainly never had a charmed life as a child, and when I was told to count my blessings, I never thought that I had that much to shout about. I was a shy and lonely child, always self-conscious about my shape and size, and everyone else seemed to be far better off than I was. When life started to deal out blows that were far more than I thought I could handle, I wondered why bad things always seemed to happen to me. I would hardly recover from one traumatic event when another one was upon me. I felt life was definitely unfair. Using food seemed to be the only way that I knew to cope.

I was looking for a solution, for some way to make my life a happier one. Fortunately, I was finally brought to my knees by the pain of my compulsive overeating. In working the Steps of this wonderful program, I have come to some amazing realizations. All the time I had railed against my misfortunes, I was being brought to some new understanding.

With the growing openness I now have, I can more clearly see why certain things in my life had to happen, and even why I became a compulsive overeater. Unlike the past, when I used to hate this disease, I now see it as a blessing, from which I can learn and grow. If it were not for this disease, I would not have needed to look at my life, nor would I have had to work at trying to make myself into a better person. I most certainly would not have needed to find a God of my understanding, nor would I have met so many wonderful new friends, who always love and support me.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will remember that the events in my life are not dealt out to me as a form of punishment, but rather as motivating factors in my life, that spur me on to grow and change as a person.
~ Sharon S. ~

 

Alleged Insight:

Wow, oh wow, this is a big topic for me, but I’ll try to be concise, and not to push then envelope too far.  See, life’s not fair.  I’ve made my fair share of mistakes and stupid decisions, and then fall back on the tried and true tongue in cheek comment that goes:

 

Everything happens for a reason,

Sometimes that reason is I’m dumb and make bad decisions.

 

But the questionable validity of that aside, there is nothing in this life by chance, (or everything is chance, and we are random results), but I choose to believe that everything happens for a reason.  Picked the wrong girl to marry at first, learned some real hard lessons about life and myself, that I needed to learn.

Upside, got an awesome (ok, becoming awesome) son out of the deal.

Finally found the woman of my dreams, and she’s all that, but we’ve both got issues that spark off each other, I still come back to this being a blessing rather than a trial.  I will grow from this, it has pushed me in directions of healing and growth that I never really knew I needed to grow in.

Life is not meant to be a simple safe thing, but rather to be experienced in all it’s glory, lessons often hurt and life does not get easier, you just get tougher or better at life.

But each new trial brings new blessings, so get counting.

Cheers and DFTBA.

Duke of Chaos

Footnote:
Standard Disclaimer: the text-reminder-and quote- herein comes from the book or website as noted at this link HERE. If you want to verify, look up your local AA or Al-Anon group.
But seriously, the work works if you work it. I’m doing this for me, for my wife, for our family and for our future.
By posting this material each day, I hope to hold the ideals in my awareness, and start with the small steps that make a big journey. ODAT is the slogan, and with God as my wing-man there’s a fair chance of surviving this adventure, for a while anyhow.
I am merely a tool in God’s toolbox.

ODAT February 8, 2017 ~ Freedom and Discpline ~

One Day At A Time

DISCIPLINE AND FREEDOM

” Freedom to a dancer means discipline.
That is what technique is for … liberation.”
Martha Graham

I was thinking this morning that keeping in fit spiritual condition was like being a dancer. A dancer knows that without the discipline of frequent training and rehearsal, he or she will not be able to dance freely when called upon to do so. The dancer who is not in shape will look wrong, feel wrong and become injured trying to do something wild and free. The training may be dull, boring and repetitive at times, but when the performance is on, the dancer soars in the freedom of movement.

I try to look at my daily program tasks the way a dancer looks at training. I may not like every minute, but I have the continual blessing of freedom as I go about my day and the hope of great moments of breakthrough into new freedoms as I progress.

One day at a time …
I will take each step of my recovery program with my great vision of freedom.
~ Q.

Alleged Insight:

One Day At A Time.  Every.  Single. Day.  Discipline is needed in life, ninety percent of the battle is just showing up, but to show up at all requires discipline.  So what’s so hard about doing that?  Life.

Life is not conducive to discipline, at least lives worth living are not.  If you have a job, get up five or six days a week, go through the motions and get the work done, than that’s great, but why are you doing it?

Like these blog posts, it’s a daily practice, that all too often gets derailed by LIFE. Take my youngest for example..  really take him for a minute will you, it’s been two days since I was able to put him down, he got sick, and when he’s sick, Daddy is who he wants, period. No excuses, no substitutions, nothing, he wants to be held by daddy.  That interferes big time with things like work, like blogging, like housecleaning, like laundry, everything.

Life is messy, chaotic, and totally unscripted.  But there was a quote somewhere that says “the Warrior will persist, true in his own intentions despite the tempest that assails him.”  It’s not exactly what the quote was, and I can’t find it right now, but the idea I can take away from it is that The discipline of self, when applied consistently, despite what life may throw at you, is the goal of a life lived with intent.  Stuff keeps getting better if you keep making yourself better.

We can’t really affect anything in this world besides ourselves, so if we focus on that, then we are free to experience the rest, and life our life to the fullest.

Cheers and DFTBA.

Duke of Chaos

Footnote:
Standard Disclaimer: the text-reminder-and quote- herein comes from the book or website as noted at this link HERE. If you want to verify, look up your local AA or Al-Anon group.
But seriously, the work works if you work it. I’m doing this for me, for my wife, for our family and for our future.
By posting this material each day, I hope to hold the ideals in my awareness, and start with the small steps that make a big journey. ODAT is the slogan, and with God as my wing-man there’s a fair chance of surviving this adventure, for a while anyhow.
I am merely a tool in God’s toolbox.

ODAT February 7, 2017 ~ Fellowship ~

One Day At A Time

~ FELLOWSHIP ~

We may have all come on different ships,
but we’re in the same boat now.
Martin Luther King Jr.

As a child I never had many friends and I was never one of the “in” crowd. I had many complexes and never thought I was good enough, or clever enough or thin enough. I didn’t date much, nor did I often go to parties. Instead I lived in my perfect fantasy world, where I would one day be thin and beautiful and live happily ever after. As a result food became my best friend, and where friends would constantly disappoint me or leave me, food was always there to numb the pain of loneliness, rejection and loss. There was never anyone in whom I could confide the unbearable pain that I felt, and so I would bury myself in books and food, and thought that as long as I had enough food to soothe that great big hole in my soul, everything would be fine.

Finally, however, when the food was causing me more pain than the pain it was supposed to take away, in desperation I found the doors of this wonderful fellowship. The people in that first meeting were from all walks of life, and of all ages, with some being old enough to be my parents or young enough to be my children. Even though they initially appeared so different to me, I realized that in this motley group of people I had found the friends that I had always been looking for. The common bond we shared in our desire to stop eating compulsively and to heal our lives was the cement that keeps this wonderful fellowship going. These friends listened to me without judging me, they loved me even when I couldn’t love myself, and they were there for me when I needed them. They have become my best friends and my family. It’s a result of this fellowship with other compulsive overeaters, who share with me their experience, strength and hope, that I am constantly able to learn and grow.

One day at a time… One Day at a Time . . .
I will reach out in fellowship to my friends in the program, as they reach out to me, and in doing so I am empowered in ways that are truly miraculous.
~ Sharon S. ~

Alleged Insight:

Wanna play ball?  My eight year old asks that of his brothers all the time, ‘Want to go outside and play with me?’

He’s highlighting something that’s lost in today’s ultra connected world, life is about connection, about fellowship, about community, and while social media has helped in some part with this building of community, it’s also been detrimental as hell to the family unit and the local ‘in real life’ connections we all need to be healthy.

I could wax philosophical about how this very blogging thing is part of the problem, but truthfully I’m not that deep.  The message was community.  Fellowship.  Finding like minded individuals who can travel your path with you.

Religion helps some of us, I’ve found much support for many of the issues I face within the men of my church.  Support groups like Al-Anon also help, if you can find the right people, like my wife has.

The bottom line, the underlying current here is that you have to find people who can support you while you support them…  wherever you might find them.  Until I started to look to others to help me with my internal mess, nothing changed, I felt alone, and at teh bottom of the emotional swing, I felt suicidal.

That’s not a place I wanted to get back to.  So I started working to change things, and found good men who were willing to open up and both help and receive help in return.

Life is worth living, but sometimes we need other’s to remind us of that fact, as well as showing us how to find that spark of worth to cling to.  Keep on Keeping on, one day at a time.

Or as Dory would say, ‘just keep swimming…’

Cheers and DFTBA.

Duke of Chaos

Footnote:
Standard Disclaimer: the text-reminder-and quote- herein comes from the book or website as noted at this link HERE. If you want to verify, look up your local AA or Al-Anon group.
But seriously, the work works if you work it. I’m doing this for me, for my wife, for our family and for our future.
By posting this material each day, I hope to hold the ideals in my awareness, and start with the small steps that make a big journey. ODAT is the slogan, and with God as my wing-man there’s a fair chance of surviving this adventure, for a while anyhow.
I am merely a tool in God’s toolbox.

ODAT February 6, 2017 ~ Errors and Assets ~

One Day At A Time

~ ERRORS AND ASSETS ~

We grow by our willingness to face and rectify errors
and convert them into assets.
The Big Book

I have had a paradigm shift in my life. This means that I have begun to see some of my most basic ideas about food and nourishment from a different angle. I never really thought these things through before this program nudged me to have a look at my life with rigorous honesty. Oh, I wanted to be thin, but I barely related that to my feelings about food.

I was on autopilot for years and now realize that my concept of food was reasoned out when I was still a child. I put that childish set of ideas in place and then just stopped thinking about it. That little child wanted the most she could get of everything there was. She wanted the most attention, the most love, the most toys . . . and the most food. And at that time it was exactly the right way to look at the world. When I was a child setting up the system that constantly demands more to calm or soothe or comfort or love, I turned to food because it is simple and I did not possess the skills to get my needs met in other ways. It was a victory really, because I coped, made it through to now. But, to stick with a plan set up by a little child reflects a lack of willingness to face a basic error in engaging the world and change my behavior.

Now I know that eating mass quantities of food isn’t about love, or fun, or comfort. Now my adult mind knows that food is a fuel that, if chosen judiciously, helps my body to work efficiently and clears my mind for the task of being a responsible adult in a busy, troubled world. By shifting from “How much food do I get for me?” to “What must I eat today to be healthy?” I change my whole basis for choosing. I take an area of my life that has been a constant error and change it into an asset, one that nourishes me and helps me to do that next right thing.

One Day at a Time . . .
I am willing to face my flawed thinking about food and change the way I make food choices, meal by meal, so that food is an asset to me and not a liability.
~ Carol B. ~

Alleged Insight:

 

I read this quickly and thought I had it, then I read it again and realized it was completely different.  But both interpretations apply, how odd is that?  I’m going to run with the first take I had on it however, ok? Great.  Glad you agree.

*aside –  I can feel my Voice coming back and that’s a good feeling, I had a way of talking when blogging, and it was gone for so long, but I can feel it starting to come alive again…  what an empowering feeling*

So, my first take, I make lots of mistakes.  Man, as a father, I make more than my father made, even though I am not the alcoholic he was.  I have deeper issues, and without the usual crutches to lean on to make it through, it’s all about dealing with our unhealthy coping mechanisms that we’ve established over the years.

Mine are avoidance, and anger and some less healthy more damaging ones, as well as the food to smother feelings tactic so many of us use.

As humbling as it is, I’ve been moved to use these failings and mistakes to try to show my children my own growth and adapting mechanisms.  I break and make mistakes.  Each time I do so, I own up to it, in the eyes of my kids, honestly and truthfully.  I can’t undo the words and the flare-ups, but I can own them, and admit the errors and failings, and then properly go through the correct coping mechanisms.  Healthy ones.  And I can do so in the full view of my kids, so they see that there are right ways and wrong ways to behave, and that in the end, honestly, compassion, love and owning our own behavior (not ‘he made me do it’ thinking) will win out the day.  From this we will become better, more able to love the world and those in it.

I’m short on time and a day behind, so cheers and I’ve gotta run and change yet one more diaper.  *sigh*  They do grow up eventually right?

Cheers and DFTBA.

Duke of Chaos

Footnote:
Standard Disclaimer: the text-reminder-and quote- herein comes from the book or website as noted at this link HERE. If you want to verify, look up your local AA or Al-Anon group.
But seriously, the work works if you work it. I’m doing this for me, for my wife, for our family and for our future.
By posting this material each day, I hope to hold the ideals in my awareness, and start with the small steps that make a big journey. ODAT is the slogan, and with God as my wing-man there’s a fair chance of surviving this adventure, for a while anyhow.
I am merely a tool in God’s toolbox.

ODAT February 4, 2017 ~ Laughter ~

One Day At A Time

~ Laughter ~

Laughter can be more satisfying than honor;
more precious than money;
more heart-cleansing than prayer.
Harriet Rochlin

For as long as I can remember I’ve always been a serious person. I can’t remember ever doing something just for fun or to have a laugh. There always had to be a purpose for what I did in my life, or else it was of no value. As for being able to laugh at myself, that wasn’t even in my frame of reference. I was so super-sensitive that I’d get upset if someone made fun of me, as it would always make me feel “less than” or stupid.

So when I came into the doors of my first Twelve Step meeting, I was amazed that, even though all the people I met had problems around food, they were still able to look at their mistakes and realize that that didn’t make them a bad person. But even more heartwarming was the fact that I heard laughter in those rooms. Before, I’d always thought that when someone laughed at what I said, they were laughing at me, and that would reinforce my feelings of inadequacy.

The lessons I’m learning here are not easy ones and there are still times when my old behaviors of being overly sensitive creep in, but I know that recovery is a process, and as I grow in the program, it will get better.

One day at a time …
As I practice the program and work the steps, I am becoming more able to laugh at myself and not always look at the dark side of life. What a gift it has been to start enjoying life!
~ Sharon ~

Alleged Insight:

 

“The Irish laugh at themselves because everybody else is afraid to start laughing at them.” That’s what my grand-daddy said when I was little, asking him why he was so jovial and laughing all the time while we worked that hard in the bush and the field.

I didn’t get it at the time, and it morphed into “if you can’t laugh at yourself, then who can you laugh at?”  Equally as muddled.

But!  Life goes on, experiences are gained, and none of the above trite comments are actually accurate.

Life is Joy.

Life is not a path to be trudged, to be survived, but to be experienced with an air of wonderment and exhilaration, it’s all that and more.

Sure, pain exists, tragedy exists, but so to does love, wonderment and joy.  Which would you rather focus on?

If I get up feeling rough, feeling every ache and I focus on that for the day, then I am going to have a bad, really bad day.

If the same day sees me roll outta bed feeling like a truck hit me, I down a big thing of water to flush out the overnight crap and get some anti-inflammatory into my system, then start being the good dad I know I can be if I try, then it’s a whole different day.  So, to growl, to laugh, or to look for the joy?

I think I’m going to go shopping for vegetables, then go home, and cut the snow that’s creeping off the roof into squares and go build a fort with the boys.  I’ll see if I can put a picture of it up when I’m done.   Keep being awesome.

 

 

Cheers and DFTBA.

Duke of Chaos

Footnote:
Standard Disclaimer: the text-reminder-and quote- herein comes from the book or website as noted at this link HERE. If you want to verify, look up your local AA or Al-Anon group.
But seriously, the work works if you work it. I’m doing this for me, for my wife, for our family and for our future.
By posting this material each day, I hope to hold the ideals in my awareness, and start with the small steps that make a big journey. ODAT is the slogan, and with God as my wing-man there’s a fair chance of surviving this adventure, for a while anyhow.
I am merely a tool in God’s toolbox.

ODAT February 3, 2017 ~ Being Joyful ~

One Day At A Time

~ Being Joyful ~

As I stumble through this life, help me to create more laughter than tears.
Never let me become so indifferent that I will fail to see the wonder in the eyes of a child.
Never let me forget that my total effort is to cheer people, make them forget,
at least momentarily, the unpleasantness in their lives.
And in my final moment, may I hear You whisper:
“When you made My people smile, you made Me smile.”
A Clown’s Prayer (Author Unknown)

I have made so many people angry with me, so many people cry, so many people worry and despair of me. So many people have been resentful of me. My disease dictated how I lived my life, if you could call it living.

Then I came to this program and I found a new way to live, and I found joy such as I have never found before, anywhere. The program taught me not to take life so seriously. The Big Book of AA tells me on page 132, “But we are not a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn’t want it. We absolutely insist on enjoying life.” I need to remember that. I need to work my steps, stay in conscious contact with my Higher Power, but boy oh boy, do I ever need to remember that I need to learn that I am not a bad person getting good, just a sick person getting well. Even sick people have fun. I’m a sick person recovering on a daily basis from a terminal disease that was killing me, but recovery snatched me from the brink of death. Now I can’t help but see the beauty of this crazy, wonderful world we live in.

One day at a time …
I am warmed and my heart sings at the thought that today I have made someone smile. Please, dear God, let me continue to do so.
~ Marlene ~

 

Alleged Insight:

 

If I could choose to do no harm, to increase the joy and decrease worldsuck (as the Vlogbrother’s policy is) then that is my choice.  Why oh why then, do I find myself, despite my best intentions, doing exactly the opposite?

Like the one in the readings above, life was a contest, a combat, an arena in which to complete and suffer.  It had always been so, since before I could remember.  I thought I had grown past and out of that state of mind, I truly believed I had dealt with these issues.

This last week has seen me walking some dark paths, stress, pressure and deadlines, not to mention the penalties, real or implied or imagined that all weighed on me, bowing me under the pressure.  Tempers short, social niceties get forgotten, and generally if I’m not paying attention to my own behavior, I become something of an asshat (again to use the Vlogbrother’s jargon).

What does this have to do with being joyful in the moment, spreading positive energy?

There is only one type of human that can spread joy and cheer without truly understanding it’s polar opposite.  A child (or those with a child’s mind).   A child knows naught of hate, of prejudice, of intentional causing suffering to another.

Most of us, if you’re reading this and come from anything even remotely like my background you qualify as of of the most, learned of the dark side of humanity before ever knowing that it didn’t always have to be that way.  That it could be changed, that good was out there and we could choose it as easily as we choose our favorite ice-cream or outfit.

So, an actionable plan, since I’ve failed so miserably in the last few weeks at being a good human (trust me on this, I’m not open to arguments on this topic).  I ran across a practice a while back, so far back in my recovery path that I can’t now find the reference points or even who it came from, but the premise was simply that daily awareness and tracking could help one form and change habits and behaviors, even underlying base patters so much so that a better life could be had just for the wanting of it if you put in the time and the work.

My proposition, three steps.

1-start the day with a list of intentions (my to do list and goals)

2-mid-day check-in on this list and an honest assessment of what’s going on, status update if you will.

3-End of day review, honest assessment of my effectiveness, and a preliminary statement of intent for the following day.

Now, I’ll work up a quick template so I’m not rewriting the same stuff over and over again, leaving me to just fill in the blanks.  I guess I’ll leave this here and tomorrow’s update will let you know how I’m doing with it.

Cheers and DFTBA.

Duke of Chaos

Footnote:
Standard Disclaimer: the text-reminder-and quote- herein comes from the book or website as noted at this link HERE. If you want to verify, look up your local AA or Al-Anon group.
But seriously, the work works if you work it. I’m doing this for me, for my wife, for our family and for our future.
By posting this material each day, I hope to hold the ideals in my awareness, and start with the small steps that make a big journey. ODAT is the slogan, and with God as my wing-man there’s a fair chance of surviving this adventure, for a while anyhow.
I am merely a tool in God’s toolbox.

ODAT January 17, 2017 ~ Procrastination ~

00jan17

One Day At A Time

~ PROCRASTINATION ~
Procrastination, more than anything else I can think of,
separates those who want to be successful from those who are.
Lee Silber

I would always intend to start everything ‘tomorrow.’ As a compulsive overeater I constantly promised myself the diet would start the next day, or if a weekend was approaching, then it would be Monday. When I first found this program I still had the same attitude: I would get a sponsor in good time, I would get a food plan next week, I’dd read the Big Book and other program literature when I got a moment. I thought if I just kept going to meetings something will happen.

However, I found that procrastination does not work in program any more than it does outside. I no longer wanted to be the member who was constantly sharing what a dreadful week I had with the food and other aspects of my life.

Today I have a sponsor, I have worked through all the Twelve Steps — I am still working and living the Steps — I am in good contact with my Higher Power, have a good food plan which I am following religiously, and I have recovery to bring to my shares.

One Day at a Time . . .
When I make a decision I follow it through with action immediately.
~ Lilian ~

Alleged Insight:

Procrastination, wait, let me go look that up…

Just kidding.

But in all truth, we all have our own methods of procrastination that work for us.  My personal favorite is to read something (e-mail, message, etc), file it as ‘yup, later’ and get on with what I’m doing at that moment, which means that later never gets here, and things just never get done.

I am very bad for this, which is why  I have multiple deadline reminders for my work, else i’d forget somebody else’s filing deadlines and be responsible for their penalties and whatnot.

I’m really running against the wire here, so if it’s not to much trouble, why not tell me your favorite method of procrastination like I shared mine above.  It’ll be enlightening to say the least, but I really really have to get to sleep, or to working on something that pays the bills at least. So until the morrow, I’ve three more of these to do to catch up, look for the next two before noon tomorrow, and hey, take it easy on yourself, everybody procrastinates, it’s what you’re going to do about it that makes all the difference in the world.

 

Cheers and DFTBA.

Duke of Chaos

Footnote:

Standard Disclaimer: the text-reminder-and quote- herein comes from the book or website as noted at this link HERE. If you want to verify, look up your local AA or Al-Anon group.

But seriously, the work works if you work it. I’m doing this for me, for my wife, for our family and for our future.

By posting this material each day, I hope to hold the ideals in my awareness, and start with the small steps that make a big journey. ODAT is the slogan, and with God as my wing-man there’s a fair chance of surviving this adventure, for a while anyhow.

I am merely a tool in God’s toolbox.

ODAT January 16, 2017 ~ Forgiveness ~

One Day At A Time

~ FORGIVENESS ~
Never does the human soul appear so strong
as when it forgoes revenge and dares to forgive an injury.
Edwin Hubbel Chapin

I want recovery from my disease of compulsive eating. Part of my program of recovery is asking forgiveness for past wrongs I’ve committed against other people. It isn’t enough for me to make amends just to others, though.

Another aspect of forgiveness is that of forgiving those around me. I need to forgive them for what they may have done to me. Many times people don’t know that they’ve hurt me and maybe triggered a binge, because I’ve covered up the pain with food. But if I forgive them, then I don’t have that pain that I thought could only be soothed with food.

Finally, I need to forgive myself. I can be my harshest critic, and many times I, myself, have been the trigger for my binge. Besides, if I can find it in my heart to forgive others, then surely I can extend the same courtesy to myself.

One day at a time…
I will practice forgiveness in all its forms.
Jeff

Alleged Insight:

I’ll be the first to admit that I can hold a grudge, withholding forgiveness until it may be too late.  The interesting thing about this reading is that it triggered two very important aspects which I had not previously thought about.

The first was that while I can work to make things right by others, making amends where possible for my actions, to those whom I have wronged.  There are those who have wronged me, and may not be aware they have done so.  Many live this life blissfully unaware of the damaged individuals (us) who spend a good part of their lives trying to merely hold it all together.  These healthy people function without a clue that their actions can damage an already damaged individual.  Now, before you go all reactive on me (not that you will, but I’m playing both sides of the devil’s advocate here), healthy people are not the one’s who need to regulate themselves to protect the delicate flowers like myself from harm.  Aware that they have caused pain, they are often good in showing remorse and concern (empathy?), they should not be considered responsible for my hurt feelings.  I’m able to choose to forgive them anyhow, since it was not their fault that I was injured but my own messed up head and my reception/interpretation of the facts.  It took me more than fifteen years of working on myself to fully ‘get’ that concept.  But there it is.  I can forgive them, because they didn’t do anything wrong.  Even if they did intend the harm, it behooves me to let it go, to forgive, but not to forget.

And that leads us to the second point, I am my own worst enemy, and I should work towards forgiving myself as well.  This is the whole concept.  I hurt myself more than anybody else on this planet at present, and I need to stop doing that.  It’s time to forgive myself as well, not forget, because that will mean having to start all over again with recovery, but to forgive, learn the lesson and mature into the good man I always wanted to be.  That’s it.  Simply hey?

Cheers and DFTBA.

Duke of Chaos

Footnote:
Standard Disclaimer: the text-reminder-and quote- herein comes from the book or website as noted at this link HERE. If you want to verify, look up your local AA or Al-Anon group.
But seriously, the work works if you work it. I’m doing this for me, for my wife, for our family and for our future.
By posting this material each day, I hope to hold the ideals in my awareness, and start with the small steps that make a big journey. ODAT is the slogan, and with God as my wing-man there’s a fair chance of surviving this adventure, for a while anyhow.
I am merely a tool in God’s toolbox.

ODAT January 15, 2017 ~ A God of My Understanding ~

One Day At A Time

GOD OF MY UNDERSTANDING

“I believe in God, but not as one thing, not as an old man in the sky.
I believe that what people call God is something in all of us.”
John Lennon

Like many people, I originally came to Program primarily seeking help with my compulsive overeating. My main concern was to gain control of my weight and my appetite. I was expecting some kind of diet program, but I found something quite different.

I already considered myself religious and didn’t think I needed much help in this area. I also wasn’t particularly interested in working on my shortcomings, but I was willing to overlook these “problem” areas of Program because I was so desperate for help.

Well, I did get my weight and appetite under control, but I got much more than that. Program’s concept of being able to work with a God of my own understanding may have been the most radical and personally-enlightening theological tidbit I’ve ever had the pleasure of tripping over. It changed everything I thought I knew about spirituality and God. Through this shift in my understanding, my Higher Power began to change me and help me with my COE by gradually removing all of my past baggage and encumbrances.

Even though I’ve now reached my recovery goals, my purification continues daily, as does my spiritual growth. I went searching for a diet that actually worked and instead found a whole new way of life. Whoda thunk?

One day at a time…
I will continue to nurture my relationship with the God Of MY Understanding by working the tools of recovery.
~ Rob.

Alleged Insight:

 

I will never fully understand God.  There I said it.  But in saying that, I cannot admit to not knowing and understanding God in any form.  God is.  Period. Full stop.

There’s a joke I heard a while back, about the fact that it’s ok if you don’t believe in God, because He believes in you.

Now, this isn’t about religion and I don’t plan on making it about such. If you’re interested, hit me up, if not then peace.  I have my religion, I believe even more strongly than might be sane, but that’s not up for debate, it’s my choice.  At the same time I have very solid opinions of what the God of my understanding is.  Jesus is who I talk to when I’m scared, confused and in pain (any kind of pain), I also have lengthy conversations with my dead father, so yeah, I’m a little messed in the head, but I’m alright with that.

The point is that no one size fit’s all God or Higher Power exists, because, when you’re all and nothing, defining any one aspect is impossible, and defining all aspects is even harder.  I feel connected to and believe in (and trust in) my God.  You don’t have to accept the same God, you can have faith in Gaia, Yahweh, Jehovah, Allah, or whomever you choose to call him, even the Great Spaghetti Monster if that’s where you lean.  I don’t care, not like that. I care that you have faith, that you’ve found strength in the God of Your understanding.

There are many paths to the top of the mountain, just pick one that works for you and I’ll see you somewhere on the path.

Cheers and DFTBA.

Duke of Chaos

Footnote:
Standard Disclaimer: the text-reminder-and quote- herein comes from the book or website as noted at this link HERE. If you want to verify, look up your local AA or Al-Anon group.
But seriously, the work works if you work it. I’m doing this for me, for my wife, for our family and for our future.
By posting this material each day, I hope to hold the ideals in my awareness, and start with the small steps that make a big journey. ODAT is the slogan, and with God as my wing-man there’s a fair chance of surviving this adventure, for a while anyhow.
I am merely a tool in God’s toolbox.

ODAT January 14, 2017 ~ Recovery ~

One Day At A Time

~ RECOVERY ~

Survival is nothing more than recovery.
Dianne Feinstein

As a very young child, I had a loving relationship with my Higher Power. I talked to God all the time about the things I didn’t understand. I asked for His help in making me a better person, daughter, granddaughter, etc.

Then, as happens in dysfunctional families, things got worse. Being the youngest, I became the scapegoat for people who didn’t know how to express anger and pain properly. I, too, learned inappropriate ways to express my feelings. I also began to turn against my Higher Power. Why wasn’t He helping me? Why was He letting me be so unhappy? Why wasn’t He answering my prayers? Why hadn’t I awakened thin yet?

It took me many years to destroy my relationship with God, but thankfully, it only took a few years of the Twelve Step program for me to rediscover my former relationship with Him. As my eating disorders have been lessened and abstinence has become the norm in my life, I am very grateful for the Higher Power in my life today. I truly feel as if I’ve gained something I once lost. Thanks to recovery, I’ve also gained things I never had or don’t remember having. I have a peace, serenity, acceptance, understanding and love that I can never remember experiencing before. The more I trust in my Higher Power, the more rewards of recovery become mine.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will work my program and be grateful for the level of recovery I’m currently experiencing. When I feel a lack of growth within myself, I will look at how far I’ve come and trust that my growth is in my Higher Power’s time, not mine.
~ Rhonda H. ~

Alleged Insight:

The opening quote is “Survival is nothing more than Recovery.”  But I want to finish it with, “But Recovery is so much more than Survival!”

Because it is.  We have, for years, in so many ways, survived, but only survived.  We pray for one more day, one day at a time, to survive another night of chaos, another day of isolation and pain.  But then I found the program, and while I work it differently than others, it has helped me to not only survive, but to recover, dare I say it, even to occasionally thrive.

Life is good, but it is not static.  Survival is a state, recovery is a process, and growth is an ambitious and noble way to start each day.

Each journey is started with a single step, in our case, that’s often Step 1.  Each journey is the sum of all the steps.  Putting one foot continually in front of the other can be considered survival, while taking each step with intention and deliberation, that would be recovery.  May God bless your journey and greet you Himself at the Gates.

 

Cheers and DFTBA.

Duke of Chaos

Footnote:

Standard Disclaimer: the text-reminder-and quote- herein comes from the book or website as noted at this link HERE. If you want to verify, look up your local AA or Al-Anon group.

But seriously, the work works if you work it. I’m doing this for me, for my wife, for our family and for our future.

By posting this material each day, I hope to hold the ideals in my awareness, and start with the small steps that make a big journey. ODAT is the slogan, and with God as my wing-man there’s a fair chance of surviving this adventure, for a while anyhow.

I am merely a tool in God’s toolbox.