Hey there, it’s been a while, and while I do still do daily work in the Al-Anon stuff, journaling it on here for all to see is actually doing me more harm than good in the time and energy required and the benefits received… So yeah, it’ll discontinue for a bit. I might come back to it, and if you need to unsubscribe I’ll understand, but such is life and all that.
As for the other, I’ve been doing some serious work trying to bring life back to the track I want to be living on. You can call it an advanced application of living in the ‘now’ or living a super-conscious life. It’s not as easily accomplished as i thought it would be.
The exercise is a good thing, painful for this old fat guy, but I have to assume that it will be a good thing as I get into better shape. The high and low cycles are just brutal, but that’s part of the game I suppose.
See what triggered this line of thought was that I came into this weekend, at noon on Friday looking for some good workouts, a couple of good runs, and some serious quality family time. But I started to slide late Friday afternoon, and my wife is fighting her own demons, so there was a serious lull in communication to complement my impending slide into depression. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve battled (and won) clinical depression many times in my life, three critical episodes that I can call to mind at the moment, and I know what the warning signs are. They’re not pretty. And the path is VERY well marked. So I knew what I was feeling, but it took some time to hammer out the why of it all this time. So here I sit on Sunday morning. having just punched out a pair of sets of my 10-squared workout. Overall it’s not a bad workout, 100 pounds of weight on the bar, ten of the big exercises, (bench press, squat, deadlifts, rows, etc…) and ten reps for ten sets (for the record I’ve only ever managed a total of six in a session, so the goal is to keep at it until I’m strong enough to do the full ten in a reasonable amount of time…
Anyhow, back to topic, depression for anybody who’s gone through it, is not a fun path to walk, and taking steps early on to avert the full descent to the ‘bottom’ is usually a good idea. I saw where I was headed Friday night, and spent most of Saturday lamenting it, like a dog worrying a bone that’s too old to yield any reward. Then this morning I pulled up my youtube subscription feed and TedTalks had an episode on Ying and Yang. Here it is…
So that was it. I realized that there are going to be lows in the life I’m living, and while if I obsess over it I will descend into depression, but accepting it and moving forward, keeping in the flow, keep moving forward as though it is just one more moment in a life filled with both extraordinary and mundane moments. It’s up to me to keep the momentum moving. Accepting this has be cathartic, it allowed me to get up and do the exercise this morning. Now if you’ll excuse me i have to go and have a shower before getting the littlest one ready for church. Have an amazing day and take care out there. It’s storming here at the moment. I love storms. They’re so exciting.
DFTBA and God Bless.